Humor in Threes
Good humor comes in threes.
Adam and Eve
All About Adam
Wandering dejectedly in The Garden of Eden, Eve told God, "I'm lonely I'm tired of eating apples by myself."
"Okay," God said, "I'll create a man for you."
Eve said, "A man! What's that?"
Sports Fans
A man and his wife have gone to bed.
After laying in bed for a few minutes, the man rips a loud fart under the blanket. The wife rolls over and growls, "Holy mackerel! What in God's name was that?"
Blame the Dog
A young man visits his girlfriend's home to have dinner with her family for the first time. He's extremely nervous. After they're all seated at the table, their dog goes under the table and curls up under the young man's chair.
Jet Fuel
Bud and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as airplane mechanics in Atlanta. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do.
Nudist Colony
John's in Amsterdam and visits a nudist colony there.
While wandering around naked, he spots a gorgeous blond woman and immediately gets an erection. The woman notices his erection, comes over and asks, "Sir, did you call for me?"
Farting His Guts Out
There was an old married couple that had happily lived together for nearly forty years. The only friction in their marriage was caused by the husband's habit of farting every morning as he woke up. The noise would always wake up the wife and the smell would cause her eyes to water as she would choke and gasp for air. She would beg him to stop farting and he would tell her that he couldn't help it.
When to Fart and When Not to
When You Should Never Fart
- Inside a crowded elevator.
- In the supervisor's office, when you're in a meeting.
- In your own office.
Use Definitely in a Sentence
A kindergarten teacher one day is trying to explain to her class the definition of the word "definitely" to them. To make sure the students have a good understanding of the word, she asks them to use it in a sentence. The first student raises his hand and said, "The sky is definitely blue". The teacher replied, "Well, that isn't entirely correct, because sometimes it's gray and cloudy".
Another student says, "Grass is definitely green." The teacher again replies, "If grass doesn't get enough water it turns brown, so that isn't really correct either."
Another student raises his hand and asks the teacher, "Do farts have lumps?" The teacher looks at him and says, "No… but that isn't really a question you want to ask in a class discussion." So the student replies, "Then I definitely pooped my pants."
Duck Call
One day a lady went into a fishing shop to buy her husband a fishing pole for his birthday.
She picked up a really nice looking pole and asked the salesman how much it was. The sales man says, "I'm blind, but if you give me the pole I can tell how much it is by the weight."
