Blame the Dog
A young man visits his girlfriend's home to have dinner with her family for the first time. He's extremely nervous. After they're all seated at the table, their dog goes under the table and curls up under the young man's chair.
While they're eating and talking, he suddenly feels the pressure of gas against his sphincter. He attempts to hold it for awhile and, not thinking of excusing himself to go to the bathroom, he tries to slowly release a small fart just to ease the pressure. To his surprise, which he conceals, the fart makes a small noise.
His girlfriend's father, sitting at the head of the table, yells "Fido!"
The young man thinks to himself that if the dog could take the blame for one of his farts, perhaps the dog could take the blame for another. Not wanting to take any chances though, he excuses himself to go to the bathroom where he spends several minutes sitting on the toilet and passing gas.
The young man returns to the table thinking all is well. The dog is still curled up under his chair. A few minutes later, he suddenly feels the pressure building up again. Not wanting to look like he has bowel problems, he attempts to slowly release another small fart. Unfortunately, there's no mistaking the noise.
This time, the father yells "Fido! Get out of there!"
The young man, thinking it's okay to let the dog take all the blame, starts feeling a little more confident. When the next bout of pressure starts to become too much to hold, he lets the fart rip at full force. The noise of it is almost deafening and echoes in the room.
"Damn it, Fido!" yells the father, "Get the hell over here before he shits on you."
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